


Death Of Love

by My_Marvel_Musings



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22351729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Marvel_Musings/pseuds/My_Marvel_Musings
Summary: Reader is Steve’s younger sister who is dating Bucky at the start of World War II. When both fail to return to her, she abandons all she knows to join Hydra of her own accord. Fueled with a burning desire for vengeance, she demands that they make her a super-soldier. 70 years later, she’s reunited with the family that she lost in a way that no one predicted.Requested by Emily
Relationships: Brother!Steve Rogers & Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, Bucky Barnes/Reader
Comments: 41
Kudos: 89





	1. Your Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You spend one last night with your boyfriend, Bucky before he leaves for Europe to fight in World War II.

“You ready to dance all night, doll?” Bucky pulled you close to his side. 

“Always!” You planted a kiss on Bucky’s cheek.

“Gross. Do you two need privacy?”

You looked back at your brother, smiling at his smirk. “Does that reaction ever get old, Steve?”

“Only once you stop asking me, ____.” He let you grab his hand so you could drag him along.

“Why the sad face, Stevie? We’re at the World’s Fair!”

“He tried to apply to the army again and then got into a fight at the movies.”

“Buck!”

“What? It’s true!” Bucky barely looked over his shoulder at his long-time friend.

You let go of Bucky to fully look at Steve. “Hey, I thought we talked about this.”

Steve wouldn’t meet your eyes. “He kept talking during the movies.”

“So you thought an appropriate response was to fight him?” Your free hand reached up to turn Steve’s face towards you. “I love you, Steve. But I need you here with me. Without Mom and Dad around, you’re the only family I have left. Can you not spend your time trying to get some goon twice your size to pummel you into the ground?”

Steve sighed. “Look, _____. I know you and Bucky are trying to look out for me but I can take care of myself.”

“It’s not about that, Steve. It’s about wanting what’s left of my family being around for a long time.” You lowered your voice to a whisper. “We both know of Bucky’s chances of surviving over there. If he doesn’t come back, I need to know I still have you.”

“Of course, _____. I’ll always be there to look out for you. And so will Bucky. No way he’s not coming back. Not if he can help it.”

You smiled to humor your brother and gave him a hug. “Come on. Howard Stark is supposed to be here with an amazing new invention! Then we can go dancing and enjoy the sights of the fair.”

He trailed behind you and Bucky, doing his best to put on a happy face for you. Steve didn’t want to think of the possibility of losing Bucky anymore than you did. He was the only guy Steve would approve of to date you, and that had taken a lot of convincing from you. The three of you practically grew up together and when Bucky had started dating, Steve had been annoyed you were there to help pick up the pieces of Bucky’s heart when a girl broke up with him. And flat out upset when he caught the two of you kissing during one of your attempts to comfort Bucky.

But eventually, he had come around, agreeing that he was a really good choice for you. Bucky was gentle with you, balanced his time between you and Steve so Steve wouldn’t feel jealous or like he was losing you, and a great friend to both of you. And it did make Steve happy to know that one day Bucky would be family. And Bucky was happy to know Steve approved. You knew deep down he wouldn’t have continued to date you if Steve truly objected. 

The three of you made your way to the stage, meeting up with the girl that was to be Steve’s date. Your friend had thought she would have been a good choice and you were about to agree until the girl tried to hide a grimace the moment Steve said hi. Sure, Steve was on the shorter, skinner side, but he had inherited your father’s good looks and your mother’s sweet personality. 

Still, women had a hard time looking over the height issue. Especially when Bucky was there, which only served to irritate you more.

You leveled a look at the girl your friend had suggested for your brother, giving her a silent warning to be nice to him. It had never mattered to you that you were a woman. You would always protect those you loved and you would be damned if anyone tried to stand in your way.

Bucky put his arm around your shoulders again, pulling your attention to the stage in front of you where a car was now on display. He squeezed you in excitement and you couldn’t help but giggle. Despite how he looked or came across, Bucky’s biggest secret was he was a nerd for all things science. It had been his best class in high school. He was especially fascinated with the possibilities of future technology, constantly expressing how he hoped to see the wonders the future would bring.

While you and Bucky were mesmerized by Howard Stark’s invention, you failed to notice Steve wandering off to a recruiting tent nearby. By the time the demonstration was over, Steve was already contemplating which story he would try to use when enlisting this time.

You sighed as you walked over, Bucky at your heels despite Steve’s date trying to steal his attention. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to do what you’re thinking.”

“You don’t get it, ____.” Steve sighed.

“Then please explain it to me. Explain how my brother going away to federal prison is good? Because that is exactly what will happen to you when they catch you in one of these lies.”

“There are men laying down their lives. I have no right to do any less.”

“So staying home and making sure I still have a family is doing less? Being there for me is doing less?” Steve flushed with embarrassment, but you held up a hand to stop him from interrupting you. “Sorry to not be enough for you, Steve. But you need to get your head out of your ass and accept the situation for what it truly is.”

Bucky put a hand on your shoulder. “She has a point. There’s nothing degrading about working in a factory. Those jobs are just as important.”

Steve sighed. “It’s not about me.”

You shake your head. “Could have fooled me, Stevie.”

Bucky tried to smile at his friend. “Come on. Let’s take these lovely ladies dancing instead.”

“Go ahead. I’ll catch up.”

Bucky frowned at his longtime friend. “I ship out tomorrow so don’t do anything stupid until I get back.”

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

You looked at Steve one last time. “Don’t be late. You know we have to hit the store first thing in the morning.

“I won’t be. I promise.” He kissed your cheek before sending you off to dance the night away with Bucky.

You found a soldier to pawn Steve’s date off on so she would stop trying to paw at your boyfriend before the two of you hit the dance floor. At first, your heart wasn’t into it, worrying about the possibility of Steve getting caught. But soon Bucky had you giggling and blushing as you circled the dance floor.

He pulled you off to the side, into a well-secluded corner.

“What now, Sergeant Barnes?”

Bucky smiled down at you. “Now I take you on a moonlit walk by a nearby lake. I want to have the best night with my girl.”

The lake was beautiful as the moonlight reflected off the smooth surface. Bucky had a blanket in his car and laid it out onto the grassy shore. You both laid down and snuggled close.

“I’m going to miss you, Bucky. Almost as much as Stevie will.”

He chuckled at this and you smiled at the sound it made with your ear pressed against his chest. “We just need to get him a girl of his own.”

“If only it were that easy. I wish they could see what we do.”

“They will. One day he’ll find the perfect person for him.”

The reality of what this night was sunk in and you propped yourself up on one arm to look down at Bucky. “I know it’s silly of me to make you promise to return to me.”

He reached up and stroked your cheek. “It’s not silly. And I very much plan to return to you.”

“And I very much plan to wait for you.” You reached over and poked his dimpled chin, causing him to chuckle at you. “But it could be a very long wait. So let’s make tonight perfect.”

It didn’t take much for Bucky to understand what you were implying. “Are you sure, doll? We don’t need to rush.”

“Bucky, we’ve known each other for 10 years and dated for four of them. Rushing can no longer apply to us.”

“Then I’ll give you anything you want.”

“Just you, Barnes. Always.”

He pulled you down for a kiss to kick off one last perfect night.


	2. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader's brother lets her know how far he’ll go to help the war effort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Sorry this was late. My cousin gets married in a few days and this month is a mess! I'm in the wedding party so all my free time has flown out the window. Hoping that will change after Sat. 
> 
> Thanks for your patience!

Fingers pinched the bridge of your nose. Was this real? Was he really this stupid? Opening your eyes, you saw that, yes, your brother was that stupid.

Letting out a long breath, you put your hands on your hips. “Rogers, you let a German scientist experiment on you?! Are you crazy?! What would mom have said?”

Steve flinched at your last words and you realized you may have gone too far. But in your defense, he hadn’t bothered to ask your opinion or really think this whole thing through. 

“That’s not fair, ____! You know she would have agreed to it if she knew this was the result!” He gestured down at his altered body, towering above you for the first time in years.

“Of course mom completely would have agreed to her only son changing everything about him that made him her baby. At the hands of a man that we don’t know!”

“Damnit, Bunny! This was important! And look at me! No more asthma or lack of muscle strength. I can actually help our country now.”

You rolled your eyes. “Calling me by the name you gave me at three years old won’t soften me to this. What if he had been lying? You could have died and I would have lost the last of my family.”

He sighed and slumped his shoulders. “I know, but I just had to take that chance.”

You could see that your disappointment had broken him and you went to put your arms around him. After an awkward moment, you laughed. “I’m not used to having to reach up to hug you.”

He chuckled as well. “I guess I finally get to be the big brother in more than just my age.”

Pulling away, you looked up into his eyes. “Does Bucky know?”

Steve shook his head. “I haven’t been able to send a letter yet. You’re the first one I’ve talked to. What’s his new location?”

“I think he landed in London today. Or will anyway. Unsure where he will go from there.”

“Huh. Figured he’d be close to enemy territory by now.”

You rolled your eyes. “It’s only been 2 days since you disappeared on me, Steve. Bucky still has to meet his team before shipping out.”

Steve smiled sheepishly. “Guess I’m just hoping I’ll get to fight with my future brother-in-law when I get over there.”

Now you blushed. “Oh please. You know Bucky and I haven’t discussed that yet.”

“Who are you kidding, Bunny? You and Bucky will be together until the end of the line.”

“That’s you and Bucky, Stevie.” You and Steve both laughed. “And before you even start, yes I would like to have a family with Bucky one day. He just needs to get back here first.”

“Back and in one piece.”

You shook your head. “I’m not blind, Stevie. I know what can happen to men who go to war. I’ll take Bucky in any way he comes back to me. Even the worse happens and he’s not all there. He’ll still be my Bucky.”

“He’s very lucky to have you, Bunny.” Steve reached over and took your hand in his. “Come on. I have to report back in the morning, but let me take my little sister out for dinner one last time.”

“I still haven’t forgiven you for doing all this.”

“I know. Stubborn to the end. But I figured dinner at your favorite place was a good way to start.” 

Dinner was as good as you had hoped and you even stopped by your favorite ice cream parlor on your walk home. It was still a strange shock every time you looked at your brother, but more and more you were understanding why he had. 

Steve had always been insecure about his size, especially when it came to dating. And now he had a chance at the life he always wanted. People would take him seriously, girls wouldn’t look down at him, and you knew that he really wanted to make a difference in the world and now he could. 

But you still could help but feel dread in the pit of your stomach. Both of your boys overseas and fighting in the war. What if one of them didn’t come back? What if both of them failed to return? 

At home, Steve headed up to bed while you stayed up making a cup of tea. Sleep was the furthest thing from your mind now that a new worry had crept into your head. You couldn’t let it go. It was one thing to say goodbye to Bucky, but now Steve? He was all you had left of your family and you didn’t think you would survive if you lost him as well. 

And where would that leave you? No parents, no older brother, your job barely paid enough to live on by yourself. And no Bucky…..

You didn’t realize you had jumped up from the table until you heard your chair clatter to the ground. Steve came stumbling out of his room.

“Bunny? Are you ok? Why are you still awake?”

Looking into your brother’s eyes, you broke down. “I can’t do it, Stevie! I can’t have you leave! It was too much watching Bucky walk away. Please don’t leave me!”

Steve hung his head before coming over to try to comfort you. “You know it’s not that simple. Even if I changed my mind, all this was only possible because of the government. I owe them for changing my life.”

“It’s not fair! You’re not even thinking of what will happen to me if you and Bucky don’t return!”

“We will! I promise to personally drag Bucky out of that war when it’s time and back to you.” He wrapped his arms around your shoulders.

You ripped away and glared at him, your eyes red from crying and angry. “When it’s time. As if the government will let you pick when that will be. I can’t believe you’re not even a tiny bit worried about leaving me alone! When did you become selfish?!”

Anger now flashed in his eyes. “Now that’s not fair! I’ve always put you first, Bunny. But this is my chance to do something good for our country. And you won’t be alone. Bucky’s family will always be willing to help with anything you need.”

“I need my brother!” You took a ragged breath. “But why should I expect you to understand that. For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve always wanted to be something you’re not. And now you got it. I hope it helps you over there.”

And with that, you stormed into your room. You knew you would regret your words to your brother, but you were too angry to apologize. In the morning you would have a proper conversation before he left.

Unfortunately, you never got your chance. Steve wasn’t in his room and a note was left on the table. With your heart sinking, you open the note.

_ Bunny, _

_ I’m sorry to do this, but I’ve been asked to leave sooner than planned.  _

_ Once I get settled, I will send you another letter.  _

_ I will miss you and will let you know the moment I see Bucky. _

_ Love,  _

_ Stevie _

You were crying by the time you finished reading. Steve had left for the war and your last words to him were hateful. And you never got the chance to apologize. The first chance you got, you would make sure he received the longest apology letter as well as a box of homemade cookies. 

You just hoped it wouldn’t arrive before it was too late.


	3. Love Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader finds out the cost of war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy hell. Crazy at work and for those who don't follow me on Tumblr, a fic-demon has been harassing me the past 24 hours. With a really stupid crack idea. 
> 
> So sorry for the delay.

_ Dear Bunny, _

_ I wish more than anything I could be there in person to tell you this. To be there for you to yell and scream and cry at. But I’m still hunting down those responsible. They are a radical group of Nazis called Hydra. _

_ Bucky and I were part of a team known as the Howling Commandos. We have been going from Hydra base to base, taking them down and trying to stop them. It lead us to a train that the leader’s right-hand man, Dr. Arnim Zola, was riding. _

_ We were closing in but the Hydra agents put up a tough fight. _

_ I want you to know, Bunny, that Bucky saved my life. He never hesitated in doing what had to be done. I don’t want to say what exactly happened until I can tell you in person. I can’t have you experience that alone. I just know he was thinking of you. _

_ I hope to see you soon, _

_ Stevie _

Tears fell from your eyes until you could no longer read your brother’s letter. Not because your eyes were blurry, but the tears had smeared his handwriting. Without stopping to think, you grabbed the nearest item and chucked it at the wall in front of you. It shattered in a glorious rain of glass and that’s when you noticed it was your mother’s vase. Damn.

But in the next instant, it didn’t matter. Bucky - your Bucky - was gone. Ripped away from you before you two had a chance to start your lives together. You had told - no warned! - the boys this would happen. But they didn’t listen to you. They never did.

What were you supposed to do without Bucky? 

You went into a blind rage, tossing anything that was unlucky enough to be within your grasp. Once you were done destroying your immediate area, you plopped onto the ground amidst the carnage and sobbed until your throat was raw, your voice was hoarse, and you felt you had no more tears in you. And when you were done with that, you grabbed a stuffed bear Bucky once won for you and curled up on the couch to pass out.

The next day you dragged yourself off the couch and regarded the mess you had made with a mix of self-loathing and pity. You hadn’t meant to make a mess of everything and you could imagine the stern, almost father-like lecture Stevie would have given you had he been here. 

But he wasn’t there. And if you had any tears in you, they would have started flowing again.

You carefully stepped around the glass until you were in your tiny kitchen. There you grabbed the coffee pot and made the strongest batch you could. You would need all your energy to clean up the mess you had made. 

After a breakfast of coffee and eggs, you turned on the radio and began to clean your mess. In between each song was a broadcast talking about Captain America. You had no idea who he was, only that you had heard the name before while in the market the other day. He was supposed to be a symbol of hope. 

Hope. That was a feeling you were becoming more and more unfamiliar with. Maybe you would go out later today and visit with some friends. Maybe all you needed was a distraction.

And so it went for you. Very slowly, as if wading through molasses you tried to carry on. You visited a friend and were happy for her when she said her husband was coming back from the war, albeit missing a leg. She then regretted her words when she heard about Bucky. Yes, her husband was returning hurt but he was returning. 

The next day you went to a matinee where a clip of this Captain America was playing. You couldn’t say as to why, but he looked familiar. In your next letter to Steve, you would ask about him.

The following day after that you went to church, hoping you could feel some comfort about losing Bucky. But you felt out of place and left halfway through the sermon. 

After a month, you realized the pain was never really going to subside. Not until Steve was back home. Your older brother was the other half of your heart, all you truly had left. And until he was home in one piece you couldn’t begin to truly heal. 

You were in the very small kitchen of the very small apartment you had once shared with your brother. A cup of tea was growing cold as you stared out the window when a knock on the door startled you. You opened it to find a very beautiful woman in a British uniform flanked by two American soldiers. 

“Good afternoon. Forgive my intrusion. My name is Agent Peggy Carter and I helped create the program that created Captain America.”

You gave a small smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Agent Carter. How may I help you?”

“You are Miss _____ Rogers, correct?” You nodded your head. “May I come in? I feel there is much we need to discuss.”

“Oh! Of course.” You moved aside so she could come in.

She turned to the two men behind her. “Please wait by the car. We don’t need an audience for this.”

The men nodded and left as you closed the door. An audience? You turned to Agent Carter as she made her way over to a small collection of family photos you had by the couch. She picked up one of you, Steve, and Bucky as teenagers. Love was clearly written on yours and Bucky’s face as you tried not to glance at each other in the photo.

Carter cleared her throat and set the photo back. “Miss Rogers, as you know your brother Steve has been a massive help as Captain America.”

“He what?!” You interrupted.

She whirled to face you. “You didn’t know? I figured he would have mentioned it in one of his letters to you. After his procedure, he toured with the USO to help sell war bonds. While overseas he got word that Sergeant Barnes’ platoon was captured. Howard Stark and I helped him get behind enemy lines and he rescued each and every man.”

“And then lost Bucky on a mission.” You let out a shaky breath and plopped onto a chair by the couch. 

Peggy sat down on the couch close to you. “I’m very sorry for your loss. Steve told me how he had hoped you and Sergeant Barnes would have married one day.”

“What happened to him?”

She shifted. “Did Steve not tell you?”

“No. He said he would tell me once he got home. But I can’t wait another moment? What happened to Bucky?”

Peggy reached out and took your hand. “He- he fell from a train. Down the side of a mountain.”

Your hand was trembling, but you just nodded your head. “Thank you. Do you…. do you know when Steve will be home?”

Peggy’s eyes watered and you noticed. You ripped your hand from hers and stood up. “Please, Miss Rogers.”

“What happened? What happened to my brother?!”

“Miss Rogers I need you to calm down.”

“FUCK CALM! What happened to my brother?!”

Peggy flinched at the language. “He died saving the world.”

“How?!” Peggy wouldn’t meet your eyes. “HOW?!”

She cleared her throat and began to tell you the whole story, starting from Bucky and Steve’s mission to take the train and ending with Steve crashing the plane into the ocean.

“And he didn’t have a parachute why? Or even just jumped out as is? He was over the ocean! None of you could put all those brains together and told my brother to jump out once the plane was on its path?!”

“Miss Rogers, it’s perfectly understandable to be upset-“

“Upset? You think this is upset?! I haven’t even scratched the surface! I want you out of my house!”

“Miss Rogers-”

“Now! I don’t want to hear another word! The US Military has already taken everything from me. I won’t put up with it for a moment longer.”

She nodded her head and stood up from the couch. “Very well. When you have calmed down, please call me at this number. We would like to help with any….arrangements that need to be made.”

And with a quick drop of a card on the table, Peggy Carter was out of your house and out of your life. 

It didn’t take you long before you once again trashed your apartment, this time taking it to a whole other level. Once you were done, a new feeling washed over you. Starting from your toes and traveling upward, slowly. As it passed your heart, you knew what it was. Numb. You were now numb. You couldn’t feel anything anymore. And why should you? You just had everything you loved taken away from you, with barely anyone noticing. 

Well, they were going to notice. Just as soon as you found someone. 

Someone who was now government property.


	4. Zola

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is on a mission for revenge.

Days passed slowly for you as you tried to formulate your next move. You carefully read each newspaper you could find and listen to each news broadcast. What you were looking for wasn’t clear to even you, but you would know it once you found it.

You re-read every letter Stevie had sent you while overseas, looking for any clues as to why your brother didn’t confide in you more. And it was in his last letter that you found your clue.

Dr. Arnim Zola

Sure, he couldn’t tell you why Steve refused to tell you what he knew. But he could help in other ways. Or at the very least, pay for being a part of why you no longer had Bucky in your life.

Two weeks after Peggy Carter had visited you, she sent a box of Steve’s things. Mainly everything he had acquired during his time in the army. His sketchbook, his cardboard shield from his time with the USO, his old clothes before the experiment, his dog tags, and his uniform - before and after. 

You now went back to the box and pulled out the dog tags, holding them in one hand. A plan was slowly formulating but part of you wondered if it was too crazy to work. For starters, how would you even get access to the location?

There was one possible answer, but it was a long shot. 

Immediately you went to work on what needed to be done. You grabbed your phone and dialed the operator, asking to be connected to the number Peggy had left in the box. As you waited, you pulled out Steve’s old uniform, the one from before he was changed. The sleeves would have to be taken in, but the rest would fit perfectly.

“This is Agent Carter,” a familiar British voice filled your ear.

“Yes, Agent Carter. This is _____ Rogers, Steve’s sister. I’m sorry for now reaching out sooner, but I was very hurt by what had happened to my boys.”

“That is quite all right. I understand completely how you feel.”

 _No, you couldn’t possibly know_ , you thought bitterly. “I wanted to make it up to you by meeting in person and discussing doing a memorial service for those who served alongside him.”

“That sounds wonderful! But I’m afraid I’m stuck at the base for the time being.”

“Well, that’s all right! I could come to you and maybe we could have lunch. I promise I won’t get in the way.”

There was a pause as she mulled over your words and for a moment you were afraid your plan wouldn’t work. Finally, she sighed. “All right. Normally this would be frowned upon, but I know Colonel Phillips would like to meet you as well. I will send someone to pick you up.”

“Sounds great. I look forward to meeting you again. Properly this time.” 

“As do I. The driver should be there within the hour.”

Once you hung up, you immediately went to work. You did a quick hem on Steve’s old army pants, shirt, and jacket so they fit you better. Folding them as small as possible, you shoved them into the biggest purse you owned and placed his old hat on top of that. His shoes wouldn’t fit, but you knew they wouldn’t fit your feet either so you found a pair of brown flats to wear to meet Agent Carter. As long as no one looked too closely to your feet, you would be fine.

Next came the hardest part. Your hair. 

You didn’t want to do anything dramatic like cut it extremely short, but you still needed to hide the length. So you grabbed as many bobby pins and one long ribbon the same color as your hair and began to pin it up in a severe bun. You then tested Steve’s hat against it before putting it back in your purse. Yes, it would be tight, but if you moved quickly no one would be able to get a solid look at you.

By the time the driver arrived, you were in a sun hat, flats, and a dress that buttoned up the front for quick removal. The drive was long and soon you found yourself at an army base in New Jersey. The driver brought you through the base and towards a nondescript building. Before he could lead you into an elevator, you paused in the hallway.

“I’m sorry, I’m sure Agent Carter is pressed for time but that was quite a long drive. Is a ladies' room nearby?”

The man paused for a moment, then nodded his head. “Yes, ma’am. Just around that corner there. I will wait right here for you.”

“Of course, thank you.” You smiled innocently up at the man before heading to the restroom. 

The room was thankfully empty and you wasted no time running into the first stall. You ripped off your dress and hat to change into Steve’s old uniform. The hat was crammed on your head as you slipped back into your shoes. You waited by the door until you were sure no one was outside before you slipped out. 

Keeping your head down, you walked in a brisk pace down the hall and moved against the wall behind the soldier waiting for you. As you walked by, you noticed a gun on his back not fastened in its holster. You knew it was a risk, but you needed a way to get Zola’s attention once you found him. Holding your breath, you reached over and grabbed the handle with two fingers. A voice called down the hall and the man turned, knocking the gun loose. With a quick pull, you grabbed the gun and disappeared inside the elevator. 

You had no idea what floor Zola was on - if he was even here at all - but you figured you would start in the basement and work your way up. 

On the basement floor, you found it mostly empty as many people had left for a lunch break. You weaved around desks, the gun down at your side, as you peaked around corners. Finally, you came across a tiny office tucked into a corner and soft voices coming from inside. Sneaking closer, you could tell the voices were speaking German. You swung the door open and stepped in.

A short, balding man in glasses sat at a desk with a soldier at his side. They both looked up in surprise as you crossed over to the desk.

“Dr. Zola, I presume?”

The man in glasses tilted his head as he took in your look. “I must admit, I don’t know how to respond to you, fraulein.” 

“No need. I can see the answers in your eyes.” You removed your hat. “My name is ____ Rogers, and you helped take two very important people out of my life.”

His eyes lit up. “Rogers? So that would mean you’re the late Captain America’s…..”

“Sister. As well as the girlfriend of Sergeant Barnes.” There was a flash in Zola’s but you ignored it. Pulling out the gun, you pointed the barrel at his head. “You are going to pay for what you did.”

The man at his side pulled his gun in response, but Zola waved him away. “By shooting me? My dear, you won’t make it out of this facility alive.”

“I know, but I’ve lost so much that it doesn’t matter to me. So I’ll give you an option. You can die right here and now.”

“Or?”

“Or you make me a member of Hydra.”

“Hydra died with Red Skull.”

“Bullshit. I know your motto: cut one head off, two more grow back. Agent Carter and Howard Stark may not see the mistake in taking you in, but I am well aware of the danger.”

“And if you hate me so much, why would you join Hydra if it were still to exist?”

“As I said, you are partly at fault. If the military never built the program to change my brother, I would still have him at the least. And I’m done sitting on the sidelines.”

The room was quiet for a moment while Zola weighed your proposition, completely ignoring the gun in his face. Finally, he cleared his throat.

“Very well, Miss Rogers. I believe I have the perfect job for you.”

———————-

_Avengers’ Compound, Present Day_

Steve knocked on the bedroom door, listening to the person inside trying to drag himself out of the bed.

“Too early!” A voice inside called out.

“C’mon, Buck. Fury’s holding an urgent meeting.”

“So?”

“So it’s part of your probation. The sooner you get up the sooner we can get coffee in you. And every minute you delay is another pot Barton will finish off.”

There was a growl coming from inside. “Fine!”

Soon the supersoldier pair were walking down the hall with big mugs of black coffee. They each took a chair at a long conference table with the other Avengers as Fury stood at the head. 

“About time you two showed up. This is an urgent mission. We just got word of a Hydra operative.”

“Hydra operative? As in Winter Soldiers? Zemo killed the ones in Siberia.” Steve sat up.

“All but one.” Fury tossed a file onto the table.


	5. The Last Winter Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky face a new challenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goddamn you, writer's block.
> 
> Second time reading this I saw I put Karen instead of Friday. Quarantine fucks with your head.

“What do you mean, you didn’t know this one existed?” Tony just stared at Bucky across the table, unable to believe what his ears were telling him.

“I mean exactly that, Stark. I had no idea this Winter Soldier existed. The other ones were kept in Siberia with me. I had no way of knowing another facility was holding extra assassins.” Bucky ran his normal hand over his face. “I can’t even tell you why they would keep this one separate from the rest of us.”

“Seems odd they wouldn’t have you train this one, also, Buck.”

“I know, Steve. There’s clearly something about this one that Hydra wanted to hide. Do we know anything about them, Fury?”

“Only that she’s around your age and a woman. Unsure where they plucked her from, if she has or had family, or if she’s just as programed as you were. I would assume very on that last part considering that seems to be Hydra’s go-to.”

“Well, they didn’t hide her because she’s a woman. There was one with the batch in Siberia. She must have had a special skill before the programing to make her valuable enough to hide.” Bucky turned back to Fury. “Do we know where she is?”

“No, but we found her latest target. Albeit a bit ironic.”

“Who?”

“You, Sergeant Barnes. Apparently Hydra doesn’t like the idea of you running around mind-control free. Messes with their image. So she’ll be coming straight to us.”

“So you’re saying we use me to set a trap?”

“Not at all. We both know she’ll never fall for it. Not in the way she would predict. What we’re going to do instead is send you and Natasha on a mission alone. The team will be nearby for backup, but not so close that it would tip her off.”

“And you think she won’t see that coming?” Tony questioned. “If it’s just the two of them, she’ll know something’s up.”

“Not if it’s an espionage mission. The less, the better and they are my two best equipped to be spies.” Fury tossed another file at Nat. “This was a mission already given to us. You and Barnes will go over the file and head out in the next three hours.”

“On it, Boss. Let’s go, Barnes.” Nat grabbed Bucky by his metal arm and yanked him out of his chair. Steve followed behind his nose buried in the file about the last Winter Soldier. “Anything good in the file, Rogers?”

“Nothing beyond what Fury told us, except for a few photos. And like you, Buck, she has half her face covered. But her eyes….” Steve flipped the photo around to show Bucky.

Bucky looked for a moment, his eyebrows furrowed. Then it clicked. “Holy shit! She has Bunny’s eyes!”

Natasha stopped walking. “Who’s Bunny?”

“_____ Rogers, my little sister. But there’s no way in hell this could be her. Hydra would have had no way to find her back then.”

“Maybe it’s a distant relative. If Bunny was still alive when you two disappeared, she would have been the only one to carry on the family line.”

Bucky winced at that and Steve clasped his shoulder. “I know, Buck. We both know how things should have gone. Just- go get ready and we’ll leave soon.”

He nodded and walked away. Steve sighed and turned to Nat.

“Bunny and Bucky were dating right before Bucky went off to fight in the war. They had plans to start a family when Bucky came back. If this is some distant relative…..”

Nat pulled Steve in for a hug. “I know. It would be bittersweet. Great to have family, but painful to know they are with Hydra. And that Bunny moved on.”

After giving Bucky a chance to compose himself, he and Nat were on a commercial flight to France, doing what they could to look like two normal people on vacation. Bucky ran his hand over his hair which was once again cut short. He had done it to try to distance himself from his Winter Soldier persona, but now he was also glad he would fit into the mission better.

“Just relax, Barnes. This will be over before you know it.”

He just nodded his head - and while he looked calm on the outside, Nat knew better. So she took the lead, getting the rental car, checking into their hotel, checking in with the team, and getting his outfit ready.

She tossed the garment bag at Bucky. “Here, change into your suit so we can get this over with. Sooner we get there the sooner we can catch this last soldier and end the mystery. I know this hurts, but it’s the only way to find out the truth.”

He sighed. “You’re right. And I knew that she would eventually move on if anything had happened to me when I went to war. But to know that her granddaughter was taken by Hydra….”

Nat rubbed his shoulder. “I know. But if anyone can help her break through it, it’s us. We know what she’s been through.”

Bucky nodded and left to change. 

And just six short hours after the shock of learning who the last Winter Soldier may be, Bucky and Nat were strolling down a street following their target, hoping their true target was following them. They entered a restaurant, sitting next to their target with Tony in Nat’s ear and Steve in Bucky’s.

“Ok, Widow. FRIDAY didn’t spot anyone unusual following you two down the street. Trying to run a comparison of the eyes from the photos against anyone we can. No hits yet.”

“Well, she won’t come strolling in here in her Winter Soldier gear so we’ll keep on the SHIELD mission while you and Rogers focus on the people outside.”

“Do you notice anyone familiar, Steve?” Bucky shifted in his chair to get a better look at the SHIELD target. 

“Negative, Buck. She may be waiting until after you finish this mission to take you both off guard.”

“Roger that. I’m going to take a quick walk through the area.” Bucky excused himself from the table and began to walk down one side of the restaurant to the restroom, planning to hit the bar side on his way back. He subtly scanned each table, trying to see if it was possible for the operative to blend into the surroundings.

But he truly wasn’t paying attention. Not in the way that he should have been. Not since the memory of you was brought up. His mind was in the past.

And because he wasn’t paying attention, he didn’t see her coming. 

Bucky was barely through the men’s room door before he was shoved to the ground, the sound of the door locking barely registered as he rolled from the fall. He never got a chance to turn around before a set of hands were around his throat from behind. The hands began to squeeze and pull back to slam his head against the bathroom wall. Bucky was able to put up his metal arm in time to stop the collision. He pushed back and the strength of the arm knocked the person off their feet. They both rolled and Bucky got to his knees to see a woman in a knee-length black dress roll to her feet as she reached for a knife fastened with a garter around her thigh. 

“Nat! Men’s room!” He barely breathed out before launching himself at the Hydra operative. Her knife glanced off his metal arm and he managed to pin her to the ground. 

“Get off me!” The woman growled.

Bucky used his metal arm to pin the arm with the knife, straddling her chest so he could grab it with his other hand. “Not a chance.”

She flipped her face to look at him and everything froze. Her eyes grew wide as Bucky took in a sharp breath. In the background, Nat was trying to break down the door.

“Barnes! I need a status! Barnes?!”

“Bucky? What’s going on? Bucky answer!”

“Romanov, Cap and I are heading over. Get into that room!”

“I’m trying, Shell Head!”

Bucky slowly let go of the operative and moved so she could sit up. Eyes stayed locked as the two moved a few feet away from each other. Outside the door, the sound of the restaurant becoming frantic as Steve and Tony raced over to Nat to break the door down.

Finally, the operative spoke. “Is- are you- what’s going on?”

But Bucky couldn’t find the words to answer her. He was still trying to figure out if his eyes were lying to him.

The door finally broke down and Tony strolled in - full armor - with a gauntlet pointed at the Hydra agent. Cap walked in after and the operative’s jaw dropped again.

“S-Steve?!”

“Holy shit! Bunny?!”


	6. Motivations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader realizes she needs to make a choice.

Your world had come to a halt. Bucky and Steve were alive?! And Bucky was your target?! 

You blamed yourself. You didn’t ask for an updated photo or any information on what you were told was the last Winter Soldier. All you knew was that he had defected from Hydra, tried to disguise himself, and was working with the Avengers to bring Hydra down. It was your handler who had pointed Bucky out in the restaurant, making sure his back was to you when pointed out. And considering they had never lied to you on a mission before, you didn’t question it. Just went full steam ahead as per the plan. The less you knew about any of your targets, the easier it was to kill them. That was a lesson you learned the hard way in your early days. And now you almost paid for your ignorance.

You realized that Hydra knew way more than you had given them credit for and you would need answers.

But first, you had to get back to them.

Surveying the room, you could see that there were no easy exits. And with Iron Man pointing a blaster at you, going straight out the door wasn’t really an option either. So you were going to have to play this smart. 

You slowly removed the high heels you were wearing so you could be barefoot for what you needed to do. Black Widow kept her eyes on you as you rose to your feet, your hands in the air.

She looked you up and down before stepping over. “You seem to be giving in rather easily. Wish it had been this easy to grab Barnes a few years back.”

“I’m not an idiot, Widow. Super soldier serum doesn’t make me immune to being hit by a blaster. I may not die, but it sure as shit would slow down any escape attempt I make.” You lowered your hands so Natasha could place the plastic handcuffs around your wrists.

“You don’t seem to be brainwashed like Barnes was either.”

“That’s neither here nor there.”

“Why, Bunny? Why are you with them?”

Steve’s broken voice almost cracked your resolve. But you pressed your lips together and made your face like stone. “Hydra will be interested to know the Falcon didn’t take your mantle after all.”

You saw Bucky rub his face out of the corner of your eye so you focused on Natasha. She was just as closed off as you were.

“Ok, Terminator, let’s get moving.” Came Iron Man’s mechanical sass.

Natasha turned to lead the way out of the restroom and through the restaurant, with the three men bringing up the rear. With a quick glance, you could tell your handler was already gone. No doubt waiting for you at the extraction point. So your mind went into overdrive, trying out many escape scenarios as you walked outside. But then they lead you up a fire escape to head up to the roof of the restaurant, and you instantly knew how you would escape this situation.

Stark opened the back of a jet that was parked on the roof and headed to the pilot seat, his suit retracting. Nat moved to your side as Bucky moved to get on the jet next. He turned back and walked up into your face.

“When we first heard about you, we assumed you had moved on after my declared death and we were saving your granddaughter. My heart was ripped out knowing it wasn’t me who got to marry you. And now my heart has been ripped out twice in one day. But I can’t hate you. Not when I’ve been in your shoes. I’ll be there during this whole thing, I promise.”

His words hit the back of your mind, to a memory long forgotten. But you suppressed it for what you needed to do next. 

As he walked onto the jet, Steve came up next. His shield was still in his hands and you could tell it was purely second nature for him. Never drop your guard around the enemy. Even if it’s your own sister. And that would end up being the thing to help you. 

Nat stepped up to nudge you into the jet. You moved to step and instead kicked her knee really hard at the same time you brought your arms down on Steve’s shield, using the edge to break your handcuffs apart. A part of you didn’t expect it to work so easily. And it almost didn’t.

Widow was quick to recover and reached for you. But you were faster because of the serum. Your hand shot out and grabbed her at the base of her neck and slammed her onto the roof. Steve pulled you off her and you twisted in his grip, landing a punch on his stomach. He bent over and you used your palm to hit his chin before landing one last hit on his chest sending him back.

Bucky raced at you next and he was more your equal being trained by the same agency. You did your best to dodge his metal arm until he latched on to your shoulder. Twisting in his grasp, you pushed your body against his to get the leverage to toss him over your shoulder into Steve, who was racing back at you.

You then spun on your heels and dashed for the edge of the roof.

“Stark, she’s making a break for it!” 

You could hear your boys race after you. At the end of the roof, you planted a foot on the rim and launched yourself off. You hit the opposite roof and rolled as you landed. The boys landed two minutes after you, proving this escape won’t be easy. 

Rooftop to rooftop, the boys were in pursuit as Natasha followed in the jet. You couldn’t see where Stark was, but you knew he had to be nearby.

Steve tried to keep up the best he could, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of deja vu from several years back.

“Goddamnit, Buck. Why is Hydra’s go to escape by rooftop?”

“Just haul ass, Rogers.” Bucky watched the bottom of your dress snag on AC units and exhaust vents as you ran by and it didn’t phase you, just allowing the material to tear away.

You were almost at the end of the last roof when a blast destroyed the roof ledge. But you knew you couldn’t stop. So you lept as the roof crumbled under your feet. 

“Bunny, stop!”

But you were already airborne, legs tucked underneath so you could miss all the debris. Then you pointed your body into a straight line and plunged off the edge. 

“BUNNY!”

Waiting on the other side for you was a helicopter piloted by your handler. You shot into the open door and grabbed the pilot’s chair to keep from shooting out the other side. The helicopter was straightened out and you climbed into the passenger seat, slipping the headset over your ears.

“The target is still alive.” Was your handler’s way of greeting you.

“Did you know?”

“He’s still alive.”

Your teeth clenched together. “Did. You. Know?”

“Remember, you came to us. Nothing changes that.”

Reaching under your seat, you pulled out the gun you hid there. “You’re right. Nothing changes that.”

The helicopter landed at the Hydra base in Italy after making sure the Quinjet wasn’t following. You hopped out and pointed at the nearest lackey.

“There’s a mess in the cockpit. Clean it up.”

“How many handler’s are you going to go through?”

You turned to face the head agent of that location. “This is the first one to die by my hand on purpose, so I’ll let you do the math. We need to talk.”

“Damn straight we do.” He turned to lead the way to his office. Inside, you didn’t even bother to sit down. “So how long before you defect?”

“Cute. I don’t care who you replace me on this assignment, just don’t expect me to help. Any information I have will be horribly outdated anyway.”

The agent raised an eyebrow as he sat at the desk. “You neither leaving nor stopping us?”

“To stop you, I’d have to destroy this whole base. I don’t have that many fucks to give at this moment. At this moment I have questions I need answered.” You went to the back of the office, popped open a bottle of whiskey from the agent’s collection, and poured a glass.

“Just help yourself.”

Instead of drinking from the glass, you set it down in front of him and then drank from the bottle. 

“Don’t mind if I do.” Then you sat across from him. “Before you even start, yes this is my fault. When I joined Hydra, it was out of the pain of losing both my boys. So my condition was to be kept from the outside world. Because we all knew the outside world would hold nothing for me. I didn’t give a shit to feel love or hope again as there was no point. I didn’t need to know the petty issues of the politicians or royalty out there, just who my target was. I didn’t even need the why. There was no point.”

You chugged half of the bottle before continuing.

“But you knew. My handler knew. No doubt Zola knew when I said who I was and who I lost. And especially since he was the one who created the first Winter Soldier. The question is how many more knew? How many were laughing behind my back? How many were waiting to see if I would fail this mission? By the way, if there is a pool on that last one, the winner better get paid.”

The agent didn't answer, so you went on.

"And then the whole Captain America thing. You guys told me some nobody named John Walker- a failed attempt at making another super soldier - took up the mantel until SHIELD picked the Falcon to officially take on the role. That was a lie, also. Didn't it dawn on you feckless idiots that eventually I'd come across Steve on the field? Did any of you care that I would find out my boys were still alive?"

“Does it matter?”

You stared at the agent for the longest time, every scenario that you could imagine inflicting on him and this base running through your head. In your heart, it felt as if Steve and Bucky had died all over again. Only you with them, this time.

“I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out.”


	7. Broken Hearted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky wonders what to do next.

His room was towards the back of the wing. A request he had when he moved into the compound. If he had a PTSD nightmare from World War II or his time as the Winter Soldier, he wouldn’t wake anyone with his screaming. 

Well, that was his hope. But Vision was an android and Steve had the same enhanced hearing as Bucky. So one if not both would check on him. Then there was FRIDAY, who would alert Tony and the medical bay. All Bucky wanted was one night alone.

Which is why the past few nights he hadn’t slept at all. Not after he found out you were still alive. He just couldn’t wrap his head around it. Not only had you been alive this whole time, but you had also been in the same agency as him. Hydra had to have known what you two were to each other for them to keep you from Siberia. And why you weren’t the one sent after Steve during that whole takedown in D.C. years ago. Without brainwashing, you may have flipped once you saw Steve or Bucky were alive.

Then again, maybe not. You hadn’t a few days ago.

The scene wouldn’t stop playing in front of Bucky’s eyes. Your cold look, the easy way you tossed Natasha and Steve aside, the reckless abandonment you had as you jumped from the building into the waiting helicopter. And all without being brainwashed at the level he had been.

He didn’t know what this meant. In all the dreams of you coming back to life, you running away back to Hydra wasn’t even in his worst nightmares.

There was a light knock on his door. Bucky tried to ignore it.

“Buck?”

Silence.

“C’mon, Buck. I know you’re awake. FRIDAY says you haven’t slept since the mission.”

Damn A.I.

A beat. “She was my sister. I know how you feel.”

Goddamnit. 

FRIDAY opened the door and Steve walked in to find his long-time friend sitting on the edge of the bed, clearly suffering from sleep deprivation. He took a seat next to him.

“We need to talk about what happened.”

“I know.”

But only silence filled the room. Neither boy knew where to start. 

Steve finally broke the silence. “This is my fault. If I had listened to Bunny and stayed home, she wouldn’t have felt the need to turn to the enemy in her time of pain. She would have had us home.”

“She would have had you,” Bucky countered. “I probably would have still ended up in Hydra’s hands. But if that meant she would be free, then I would gladly change the past.”

“Well, we can’t. All we can do is try to free her.”

“No offense, but she didn’t exactly look like she wanted to be liberated. So what’s the plan, fearless leader?”

“We talk to the team and figure out the best plan. But first, we need to find her.”

As it turned out, finding you wasn’t going to be a challenge. 

The next morning the boys walked into the communal kitchen to find the team watching the news about a building in Italy that had been burning all through the night. 

“What’s going on?” Bucky grabbed a cup of coffee and took a seat next to Nat at the table. “New mission for us?”

“Not for us. Not even the rescue type. Apparently, this warehouse was a front for a Hydra facility.” Nat calmly took a sip of her coffee. 

“X-Men?”

“Not their style. There wasn’t a single survivor.”

Steve stopped in his tracks. “People were trapped inside?”

Tony walked in. “More like they were either killed or incapacitated before the fire started. And all of them associated with Hydra in one way or another. Security cameras from outside the building caught one person leaving in a helicopter minutes before the fire started.”

“Do we have an identity on the person?” The room grew quiet at Steve’s question. 

Bucky cleared his throat. “I think it’s Bunny, Steve. It seems to fit the situation. Someone in Hydra clearly didn’t inform her we were still alive. She must have taken her anger out on the facility she was kept at.”

“So we go get her. Bring her home.”

“It’s not that simple, Steve,” Nat started gently. “She’s a war criminal just like Bucky was. And she clearly isn’t interested in a part two reunion any time soon. If we find her, she’ll have to be rehabilitated just like Bucky.”

“Then we still need to find her. I don’t care if she’s ready. I didn’t when Bucky wasn’t.”

“And look how well that went,” Bucky chimed in. “She may not have been wiped like I was, but there’s clearly something still keeping her tied to them. Give her time. She destroyed a base so clearly she’ll either have to be programmed or forced out from them…..”

“From them what?”

Nat rolled her eyes. “Do the math, Steve. If at anytime Hydra feels she’ll leave because she now knows about you two, they’ll try to destroy her.”

“She just destroyed a facility. What makes you think they’ll keep her?”

“They will if it’s an order from a higher facility,” Bucky concluded.

* * *

You were staring at yourself in a dingy mirror. One that no amount of cleaning would ever give a clear reflection ever again. It didn’t matter; the rest of the motel room was far worse.

They would be looking for you and time was not your friend. Using scissors and box dye, you quickly changed your hair. You had color contacts set aside for tomorrow when you left the motel. 

After you finished changing as much of your appearance as you could, you checked your bug-out bag for the third time in an hour. You weren’t sure if you’d actually sleep, but you had to at least rest.

You had ditched the helicopter in Germany and stolen a motorcycle to get you all the way to Romania. The hotel was in a seedy part of town and the perfect place to lay low for the night. 

This wasn’t supposed to be your life now. You hadn’t had any intentions of destroying that base. But the more time passed since your failed mission, the more the other operatives and agents began to give you hell.

“So much for being a true Winter Soldier. Couldn’t even take an Avenger out with you.”

“‘Did you give your loverboy a goodbye kiss before you jumped off that roof?”

“Give her a break. Her brother is Captain America. Was only a matter of time before she slipped up. A failure, like her precious Bucky.”

That last one had been your breaking point and you don’t remember anything after that. Just a lot of screaming and then flames. And now they would be coming for you.

You weren’t sure how long you could be on the run. Being on Hydra’s blacklist meant there were only so many people you could turn to for help. There was another option. One you knew would not turn you away, but one you no longer deserved.

After eating some greasy fast food, you cracked open a bottle of vodka and began to drink. Rain was pouring just outside your room and all you could think about was how Bucky would wrap you in a warm blanket as you sat on his porch to watch the weather. A warm cup of tea in your hand, Bucky snuggled as close as possible, the smell of rain in the air. The thought left you feeling homesick.

But you couldn’t go back, could you? No. You didn’t deserve it. And besides, how would that even go? _Hey, Honey. Hey, Stevie. Sorry I tried to kill Bucky the other night and then lead you on a chase across rooftops. We ok?_

It was laughable. They would have you locked up and under interrogation before you could even blink.

How did this happen? Had you really let your emotions get the better of you? You were really going to have to practice self-control more. Especially in regards to your boys. After all these years, they were still getting you into trouble.

You turned on the tv to hide that you were alone. But the first thing on the screen was the Secretary of State and behind him was your brother, in full Captain America gear.

“The U.S. has a lead on the possible assailant who attacked the Hydra base in Italy the other day. The U.N. panel has agreed to send the Avengers in accordance with the Sokovia Accords. Captain Rogers will be heading the search with the help of SHIELD and the CIA."

Your brother stepped forward. “We hope this search be conducted as quickly as possible with the least amount of casualties. What we know for sure, is that this person will probably be hiding in a den, similar to a bunny.”

Crap. They knew it was you.

“If the suspect is watching, please turn yourself in. We want to help you in any way possible. Please don’t make it harder than it needs to be.”

Before the Secretary could take over, you clicked the tv off. Then you curled up on the bed, unsure what to do next.

* * *

“Do you think she saw it?” Bucky met Steve in the locker room as he changed into his civilian clothes.

“I hope so. Is there a way to set up a means for her to contact us without Ross knowing?”

Bucky sighed. “Maybe. Let me ask Nat. But you know she may not come to us anyway. Not right away, at best hope.”

“Well, let’s hope for the best case. I want her to come to us before Ross changes his mind and sends someone else.”


	8. Stay With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is one night all it takes to break Reader's resolve?

You weren’t going to stay in Romania long. Just a few days so you could plan where you would land next. Keep moving, always moving. It would make it harder for Hydra to find you.

Leaving your hotel room, you pulled a hood over your new hair and tried to resist the urge to blink against the new colored contacts. You were going to scour the city you were in briefly for supplies and possible future contacts. Maybe even an apartment to use in the future if luck allowed you to return.

As you traveled, you ended up in Bucharest. You passed by a fruit stand, a corner store, and up to a discrete apartment building. Yes, this was the capital city, but Hydra would think you were hiding somewhere less populated. Fewer eyes to spot you. 

Up the several flights of stairs, you traveled as you inspected each floor for a possibly empty apartment. An abandoned one. And you found it near the top. 

The door was missing and police tape was over the opening. A shotgun size hole was to the wall on the right and the door frame on the left showed where the hinges were shot off. You pulled down the tape and walked in. No one had been here since it was broken into, that much was clear. But why, you couldn’t even guess. 

Instead, you pulled the door off the bathroom and propped it up where the front door used to be. Yeah, it wouldn’t keep anyone out but you would make sure no one knew this place would be occupied.

The apartment was a small studio that had clearly been trashed. Gunshot holes, a broken card table, a small mattress with a bullet hole, a hole in the floor in the kitchen by the door leading to the fire escape. And every window had newspaper taped over it. The place was perfect.

You set down your bag and went to test the water and electricity of the place. They wouldn’t get used much, if at all, but it was good to be prepared. The pipes in the tiny kitchen and bathroom ran for an hour to get the rust out of the way. And because the water was running, you didn’t hear him come in.

“I didn’t think anyone would ever come back here.”

You had your back to the door and you wanted to pull out your gun. Instead, you slowly turned around to face him. “How do you know about this place?”

Bucky gave you a small, sad smile. “This was my apartment after I first left Hydra. This is where Steve found me after I was framed for the bombing of the UN building in Vienna.”

Laughing, you shook your head. “Of all the places for me to randomly choose. I guess the Winter Soldiers are more predictable than Hydra would ever want. How did you know how to find me?”

“I didn’t,” Bucky took a tentative step closer. “I was retracing my steps to see if I could predict where you would go. This is pure luck.”

“I don’t believe in luck.” You closed your eyes and turned your head away. “I saw Stevie on TV. I knew it was only a matter of time before we crossed paths again.”

“Steve hoped this would bring you back to us,” you could hear him step closer. “That you would come home.”

You felt him inches from you and you opened your eyes to look at his face. “You know I can’t. I don’t belong there anymore. And even if I did, the government would never allow me.”

“You will always belong at home. With me and Steve. We can find a way to make it work.”

“Don’t be naive, Bucky. That’s not how the world works and you of all people should know that.” You shoved him away. “We can’t be together anymore. Even if I wanted to come home, they’ll lock me in a cage.”

Bucky moved back into your space. “You can earn your place back. I did.”

You got up in his face. “How many times do you think Steve can pull that favor out of his ass? I. Can’t. Go. Home. You need to leave, Bucky, and pretend you never saw me.”

He grabbed your arms and backed you into the fridge. His blue eyes bore into yours. “I can’t! Ever since the day I found out you were still alive, you’ve been in my thoughts and dreams. I can’t leave! I love you!”

Taking a deep breath, you growled the words through your teeth. “I love you, too. Why do you think I destroyed that facility?! But that doesn’t change any-”

He cut you off with a rough kiss, pressing you into the fridge. And no amount of programming or years apart could change how his kiss always made you feel. Deep in your core. So you kissed him back.

Bucky had only meant to distract you so he could talk some sense into you. But having you in his arms for the first time in over seventy years broke him. You pushed him back against the kitchen counter and he lifted one of your legs up to hold it against his hip. Both of you had changed entirely since your first time and this was as if being with someone new. His cold metal hand felt amazing against your hot skin and the stubble on his face was rubbing your neck raw. 

Bucky knew he should stop. That this hadn’t been the point of trying to find you. But you had always had an intoxicating hold on him, especially after the first time you kissed all those years ago.

Both of you shoved and pushed each other around the tiny apartment until you fell onto the tiny mattress that had been his. 

You opened your eyes to see it had grown dark outside, the only sound was the late-night city noises and Bucky’s quiet breathing. With the practiced precision of your years in training, you managed to untangle yourself from Bucky without waking him up. You barely breathed as you got dressed, wrote a quick note, and grabbed your bag.

_ I’m sorry, baby. It’s just not time for us,  _ you thought as you left the note in his metal hand and quietly left the apartment.

When Bucky woke up he immediately sat straight up when he noticed you weren’t in the room. He opened the note, fearing the worse.

_ Bucky, _

_ I know you had hoped tonight would have changed my mind. And it almost did. I had completely forgotten what it was like to be with you. _

_ But I can’t come home. Not yet. _

_ I don’t think Hydra will keep me after what I’ve done, but we both know I’m no Avenger. And Secretary Ross doesn’t look like the type to play nice.  _

_ Maybe the next time I see you, I’ll be ready. But until then, give Stevie my love. No matter how reluctant he may be to receive it. _

_ Love you always, _

_ Bunny _

He had been so close to convincing you to come home, but he failed at the last minute. He couldn’t tell Steve what happened. So Bucky looked for any evidence you may have left behind, stuck the note in his front pocket, and headed back to New York.

Once there, he did what he could to avoid Steve and Sam. Steve would have been disappointed in how Bucky couldn’t bring you back and Sam would have laughed his ass off over the fact that you two had sex instead of talking. And you still didn’t come back with him.

But there was one person he couldn’t hide from, no matter how hard he tried.

“Do you always have to stalk me?”

“Who says I stalk you? I can’t help it that we think alike.” Natasha walked up to the rooftop bar and grabbed them both a beer. “You need a new hiding spot. The weather is getting nice enough that Tony’s gonna officially open this back up. Then we’ll no longer have an excuse to pretend you’re not up here.”

Bucky did a double-take as he took the beer from her. “You told on me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just obvious because you’re the newest member to the compound, so of course, you don’t know the proper hiding spots.” She took a seat next to him. “So, how badly did it go?”

“I found her by pure accident. She was in my old apartment.”

Nat gave a small smirk. “I can imagine what happened next. And that wasn’t enough to convince her to come back?”

“Almost.” Bucky knew this might backfire, but he handed the note to Nat. “She left this for me. Nothing else of hers was left behind. Not even fingerprints. I could tell she had wiped every surface.”

“She’s thorough, I’ll give her that. So what’s the next move?”

“What other move can there be? I need to find her again.”

Nat sat in silence for a few minutes. Finally, she stood up and extended her hand. “Looks like we have a few calls to make to some old friends of mine.”

“You really think they’ll help?”

“Either they will, or I’ll make the rest of their short lives miserable.”

Bucky gave a small laugh. “Then let’s get on it.”


	9. Love Is A Battlefield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Bucky and Steve get Reader back?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moving sucks canal water. Sorry this is late!

The hallway was dark and dank, echoing the footsteps pursuing you through the abandoned building. It had been an office building used as a front for Hydra so you were fairly familiar with the layout. Furniture still remained and you used it to try to slow your attacker down.

Rounding a corner, you burst into what looked like a lounge area. The agent was mere feet from you now as you stepped onto a coffee table. But instead of using it to propel you forward, you jumped up, twisted in the air, and grabbed the agent’s head to slam it against the table as you landed on the ground on the other side. He barely shook it off before you used your foot to flip the edge of the table up and then kick the whole thing into him, knocking him back into a chair.

“Fuck you, you fucking traitor!” He groaned from his spot on the ground.

“No thanks. You’re not my type.” 

You raced out of the room and immediately dropped to the floor to miss the spray of bullets aimed at you.

“Jesus Christ. And I thought I was good at holding a grudge. You assholes are Olympic level.” The only response was more bullets. “Fine, whatever.”

You began to race - bent over - down the hall and around cubicles as more bullets rained down. Hydra had the floor surrounded and you figured the building as well. Getting out of here was going to be a bitch.

Into another office you crawled, only to be met by more Hydra agents. They went to open fire, but all three guns clicked on empty clips. You rolled sideways on the ground, popping up at the last minute to punch the one in the middle. Another came up behind you and tried to strangle you with his rifle. You elbowed him and then used the third agent coming at you as a jumping-off point. One foot went on the thigh, the other kicking the agent in the face as you use the momentum to flip yourself backward over the agent that was choking you.

Now free of his grip, you took the rifle, twirling it perfectly in your hands and had the butt connect with the agent’s chin, sending him flying back. 

“It’s like - how do you boys phrase it? Playing a video game on God Code Mode? One day I’ll have to play a video game so I get the reference.”

You left the office only for a grenade to roll towards you. You kicked it away as you flipped back. It landed and an overturned shield covered it, containing the blast. 

What the hell?

“Avengers! Avengers are here!” A Hydra agent shouted.

You sighed. Goddamnit.

An agent put you in a headlock and you didn’t hesitate to flip them over your shoulder and then put him out of your misery. Steve winced.

“Was that really necessary, Bunny?”

“First off, can you not call me that right now? And second, yes. These assholes want me dead. And how the fuck did you even find me?”

“That would be my fault,” Nat answered as she kicked an agent away that had snuck up behind you. “I used some of my old contacts and we found a bunch of Hydra jumping on this place at once. Didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why.”

“Joy,” you rolled your eyes. “Don’t know why they’re so pissy with me. It was just one facility and frankly, I was fully justified. It’s not like I turned anyone in.”

“But you did turn on them.” You grabbed the spare gun at her back and used it on an agent running up. She snatched it back. “Ask next time.”

“I think the words you were looking for was ‘Thank you’. And technically. But only because they lied to me! I only ever meant to destroy that one facility.”

“You’re just splitting hairs and Hydra doesn’t care that far.” Nat took out another agent. “You don’t belong to them anymore, in their eyes. Except as their newest target.”

“You guys really know how to kill a mood.” Picking up a chair, you chucked it at an agent trying to sneak up on Bucky. “So did the whole team come?”   


“Most of it. Stark and Rhodey have the top floors and Wanda and Clint are guarding the exits.” Bucky strolled up to you, calm even in this firefight. “Hey, Rogers.”

“Hey, Barnes. See you got the Widow involved.”

“You know damn well Steve and I were never going to drop it. You belong at home.”

“This is really not the place to- SHIT!”

You dived at Bucky, spinning as you made contact. Bucky watched your eyes grow wide and felt you jolt against him. “Bunny!”

“Welp, this hurts more than I thought it would.” You staggered as you tried to stay on your feet. Bucky instantly wrapped his arms around you and could feel the blood leaking from your back. “Certainly not like the time I was shot in the leg.”

“Goddamnit, _____. Why did you do that?”

Despite the pain, you smiled at Bucky calling you by your name. “You know damn well why I did that. Just because I was with Hydra doesn’t mean I stopped loving your or my brother. Your deaths were the reason why I joined them in the first place. I had nowhere else to turn to.”

“Oh God, ______,” Bucky was trying to hold back the tears as you began to slip in his arms. Steve came racing up. “She’s losing a lot of blood.”

“We’re too far from the compound. We won’t make it in time.”

“There’s another place we can take her.” Steve instantly knew what Bucky was referring to.

“Let’s get her on the Quinjet. Now!”

Bucky and Steve felt that the jet was going too slow despite Clint claiming they were flying at the top speed allowed. You were in the back on a stretcher, IV needle in your arm, and several packs of gauze on your back. There was a slight jolt of the jet landing before Steve and Bucky were at your side, racing to wheel you off the jet. 

Medical staff from the palace in Wakanda took the stretcher and raced into the building, the Avengers following close behind. Shuri popped up. 

“Bringing me another broken person to fix, I see Captain Rogers. Who is it this time?”

“My sister. She was used by Hydra as well.”

Shuri nodded her head and began to get to work to stop the bleeding. “She will be ok. My brother is waiting for you in his office.”

Bucky led the way as he had spent the most time in the palace and in the kingdom. T’Challa was sitting behind his desk, finishing up a phone call.

“Of course, Agent Ross. I will be sure to alert you as well as Secretary Ross if the fugitive tries to take refugee here.” He hung up the phone and raised an eyebrow. “I hope it was worth me lying to your government just now.”   


“We really do appreciate it,” Steve shook his hand. “The person we brought is my sister.”

T’Challa sighed and gestured for the Avengers to take seats around his desk. “Was she kidnapped as well?”   


“No,” Bucky answered. “She turned to them after she heard Steve and I had died.”   


“Well, then at least my sister will not have to add deprogramming to her list of things to do on your sister. At least, not in the traditional sense.”

“What do you mean?” Rhodey shifted in his chair.

Nat cleared her throat. “I think I know. It’s like when I was with the KGB. I wasn’t mind-controlled like Barnes, but they still have their ways. To make you feel like you’re alone, that you have no place in the world, that they are all you have.”

The silence in the room was painful. Steve cleared his throat. “So that’s why she wouldn’t come home? Why she fought us?”

“That, and a mixture of shock at you and Bucky still being alive. I think she can be reached, but it may take time.”

"She reacted positively when I called her by her name instead of Bunny."

Steve looked over at Bucky. "She did?"

"That's good," Nat jumped back in. "That will give us a starting point."

"And in perfect timing," T'Challa stood up from his desk. "Shuri has informed me your sister is out of surgery. She should be up in the hour."


	10. Mutual Minds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will it take to get through?

You paced the room for the hundredth time, but yet you still couldn’t figure out where you were. The room had a beautiful and colorful mural on all four walls with the most advanced medical equipment you had ever seen. But there were no other clues for you. You had woken up in this room and had been visited three times by a nurse and an orderly to check your vitals and bring you food. And while they were polite, they didn’t answer a single question you had.

“I really wish you would stop pacing. I don’t have time to replace any tiles you wear down.”

You turned at the voice and was surprised to see a young woman - maybe 18 at the most - in a lab coat with a nurse as well. “Forgive me. I thought my days of being caged up as an animal were over.”

She rolled her eyes but was smiling all the same. “Blame your boys. They were the ones to bring you here so I could save your life.”

That took you by surprise. “You saved me?”

She rolled her eyes. “No, your brother did the surgery.”

Ah, the joy of teenagers and their sass. 

“It’s just…. You’re so young. Forgive me. I grew up in an era where women weren’t allowed to see their potential, regardless of their age. And Hyrda wasn’t exactly enlightened either, despite making me a Winter Soldier.”

Her face softened and she smiled again. “I understand. By the way, I’m Shuri.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Shuri. May I ask, where am I?”

“My lab.”

You tried to resist the urge to roll your eyes. “Yes, but what country?”

“Wakanda.”

You did a double-take. Wakanda?! The placed portrayed as a Third-World Country? Damn Hydra, keeping you in the dark.

Shuri read the expression on your face. “We only recently opened our borders for the world to truly know who we are.”

“But my brother clearly knew enough to bring me here.”

“Because he brought me here once before. And a CIA agent we know was brought here as well for the same type of wound that you had.” 

You carefully watched Bucky as he entered the room. He kept his eyes on you but left you a fair amount of space. Despite the pain you had felt when you were shot, seeing him standing there unharmed made it worth it. Maybe Hydra hadn’t killed everything inside of you.

“I’m glad you seemed to have escaped the fire-fight unharmed. Good to know my last-minute idiotic idea didn’t go unrewarded.”

He lurched in place but stopped himself - as if he had wanted to hug you the moment he realized you really did still care. That saving him hadn’t been something subconscious. And part of you wanted him to do it. But part of you wondered how open you would have been to it. You hadn’t lied; you still loved both of your boys. But you were so damn scared to lose them again. And you didn’t have Hydra to fall back on this time.

Bucky saw the conflict in your eyes and sighed. “I know. I know exactly how you feel. This whole…..”

“Situation?”

He chuckled. “Sure, we’ll call it that. Anyway, I understand how you feel. Well, ok, maybe I didn’t run headfirst into Hydra willingly-”

“Ok, going to stop you right there.” You looked over at Shuri, “forgive me, but can Bucky and I have a moment?”

“Of course. I’ll let your brother know you’re awake.”

The moment she left, the tension was palpable. You couldn’t keep your eyes off each other, as if once glance away and those last 70 years of being alone would come rushing back. 

You used to be the romantic type. Dreaming of the day you and Bucky would get married, live in a place that you would, of course, had shared with Steve, so that way when the little ones came along their uncle could watch them grow up.

But that was before the heartbreak of losing your boys. Before Hydra got a hold of you. Now you weren’t sure what you wanted.

“Bunny…” Bucky breathed.

And that was enough to break your wall. For that moment, anyway. A gasp escaped your lips and you rushed at him. If there had ever been a question about whether you two still shared one mind, it was put to rest when he mimicked your movements. 

You locked your arms around him and he could feel you tremble. “James, I was so worried I hadn’t been fast enough. Not until I felt the bullet.”

James. You never called him by his first name unless you were scared. That gave Bucky hope because it meant part of your humanity still intact. “It’s ok, Bunny. You always were faster than me. Even before….”

Before. That was the keyword. Before everything changed. Before you lost your boys. Before Hydra took what was left of you. Or at least, most of what was left of you. Was there anything left of you?

The moment was interrupted by the sound of a door opening up. "Hey, Buck. Shuri told me- oh!"

You and Bucky pulled apart and looked at Steve standing in the doorway. "Hey, Stevie."

"Hey, Bunny. How are you feeling?" He cautiously entered the room just as Bucky had.

"It's ok to come in, Stevie. I'm not fragile. At least, not in that way."

"Maybe I'm afraid you'll beat me up again," there was a smile playing on his lips.

You rolled your eyes. "Listen, in my defense, I had questions that needed answers and it's not like you would have let me go if I asked nicely."

"Oh sure, blame the good guys." Bucky chuckled softly.

Your nose crinkled and both boys immediately burst out cheering and laughing.

"There's the Bunny we know and love!" Shouted Steve.

"We were wondering if Hydra killed that little tick of yours." Bucky planted a kiss on your temple.

You pushed him away. "What are you guys talk- oh, right. The reason you two gave me my nickname."

"Admit it. That little nose crinkle is adorable. You've been doing it since you were three," Steve had a genuine smile for the first time since they found out you were still alive. It made his heart happy to know that deep down inside the Hydra assassin, his sister was still alive.

"I admit nothing." You couldn't help but smile at your boys. Then reality slowly sank in. "So.... what happens to me now? Do you boys take me immediately into custody or do I get a trial first?"

The room went quiet as the boys remembered a key element: you were a criminal. A former Hydra assassin to be exact. They were so worried about deprogramming you, they completely forgot that wouldn't mean you'd get your life back. Not right away.

Bucky sighed. "Well, first we need to get you to Shuri and get Hydra out of your head."

"And then?"

"Then we call Stark."


	11. Exiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bunny and the boys hold their breath.

“It is beautiful here, I can’t deny that. How long were you here when you were injured?”

Bucky sighed as he handed you a drink. “Two years, give or take. Before Thanos showed up.”

“I heard about that whole thing. That- that was interesting. From what I understand, you and my brother were on the battlefield?”

“He was the last one I saw before….” 

You set the drink down and pulled Bucky in for a hug. “At least you were with someone who cared about you. Instead of surrounded by your enemies.”

“Oh, Bunny.” He held you close. “Why did you do it? Why Hydra?”

You pulled away as you spoke. “I told you why. I lost everything. And frankly, I didn’t know who was more to blame: the US or Hydra. So I went towards the one that would do more than a couple of folded flags, a pat on the back, and a few well wishes. It gave me a way to channel my anger and loss. Yes, it wasn’t the best choice. But it was either that or drink myself into an early grave.”

“Well, when you put it that way.”

You rolled your eyes. “I can’t say I missed your sass.”

“Why? It matches your sarcasm.” His smirk made your heart skip a beat. You honestly couldn’t remember the last time it did that.

“So this is where you two are hiding,” Steve came strolling up. “Can’t say I blame you. The view is breathtaking.”

He was referring to how you and Bucky had snuck off to stand on a balcony of the palace. You weren’t allowed to leave yet due to being a flight risk. Can’t say you blamed them. 

“I wasn’t interrupting, was I?”

“Not at all, punk.” Bucky playfully slugged him.

“Especially since I owe you something.”

“What are you talking about, Bunny?”

You reached over and pulled Steve down to your level so you could give him a long-overdue hug. Steve didn’t know what to do at first, but soon his arms wrapped around you and he squeezed back. To the point where you were glad you had the serum in you as well or he would have cracked ribs. He ended the hug by lifting you off your feet and then setting you down.

Laughing, you took a step back from your brother. “Never thought the day would come where I would have to pull you down for a hug.”

Both boys chuckled at that as footsteps echoed outside the room. You turned at the sound of a door opening only to be confused at Tony Stark walking in. 

“Well, isn’t this a Kodak moment. Who knew super-soldiers had soft sides?”

“Tell anyone and I’ll beat you senseless with your arm, Stark,” you snarked.

Tony barely raised an eyebrow. “Well, Capcicle, your sister doesn’t share your charm.”

“I guess send me to charm school then after my deprogramming,” you rolled your eyes. “I was with Hydra. Not exactly a finishing school. Forgive me if my manners took a hike years ago.”

“Bunny.” Steve tried to get in the middle.

“Please keep that up. It’s sure to help during your hearing.”

“Stark!”

“No, Steve, Stark’s right.” You turned away to face the city below. “I told Bucky I didn’t belong here. It doesn’t matter how badly you want me home, I don’t fit in anymore.”

“That’s not true! You will always have a place in the world. Bucky found his.”

You gave a sad laugh. “Bucky was kidnapped on the brink of death and brainwashed. Of course he got his second chance. But how well would it have gone for him if he hadn’t been brainwashed? If he had run willingly into Hydra’s arms? Being your sister is going to mean jackshit for me. If anything, they’ll use me as an example that nepotism has no place in the Avengers.”

There was a sobering silence before Tony cleared his throat. “The Terminator is correct. Secretary Ross wants to nail her ass to the wall and he doesn’t care how messy it will get.”

“Fabulous,” you grabbed your drink and chugged it and then chugged Bucky’s.

“Hey!”

“Bite me, Barnes,” you moved back into the room to make another drink.

“Can we save the foreplay for later? This is serious. Secretary Ross has asked Agent Ross to head to Wakanda and bring ____ back to the states to stand trial.”

While this didn’t surprise you in the least, the boys were instantly up in arms. 

“Stand trial?! Isn’t that a UN decision?!” Steve’s jaw dropped.

“Can they just come here and take her?” Bucky cried at the same time.

All three went round and round arguing the semantics of whether or not Agent Ross had the ability to come into another country for a fugitive if they haven’t been extradited. You were busy with seeing how quickly you could drink the bottles of bourbon that had been left in the room for you and Bucky. Supposedly you couldn’t get drunk thanks to the serum. Or so Bucky told you what Steve had learned. No better time to test that theory.

“Bunny, what the hell are you doing?”

“Seeing if it’s possible to actually get drunk, Stevie. What does it look like?” You downed another shot. “What else can I do while I wait for this suit to come drag me to my permanent cage. You boys are right; this is so much better than being on the run. So glad you kept trying to get me to stay.”

Steve sighed. “Bunny.”

Bucky put his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Can you two give us a minute? This is something that’s best discussed by those who understand.”

Steve wanted to object, but Tony began to push him out of the room. “Let’s go, Old Man. The love birds need to chat.”

The only sound after they left was the pouring of the bourbon into your glass. The bottle came down with a soft thud and you sighed. “Please tell me, James. How is this better? Give me something, anything to make this all worth it.”

“Are you saying you regret saving my life, ____?”

“Never. But I regret how I did it. I should have been smarter. Should have just pushed you out of the way. So I would still have the ability to walk out on my own.”

“Then you would have kept running.”

“Better than being locked up.”

He slowly came up to you and wrapped his arms around your waist. You tensed up for a moment and then relaxed into him. It was a beautiful, rare moment for you both. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head and then sighed. “Then there’s only one solution.”

“And what’s that, Barnes?”

“We run, Rogers. Together. Anywhere you want to go.”

You rolled your eyes as you turned to face him. “Be realistic. You’re not running anywhere. You just got your life back. No longer a fugitive and an Avenger none the less. Not to mention all that work Stevie put into getting you back. You’re not throwing that all away.”

“Steve can come with us. He really is retiring so Sam can take over. We can be a family again.”

“A family on the run.” You pulled away. “No, I refused to let you both ruin your lives. Steve just got off the fugitive list himself.”

“Maybe being with you is more important!”

“More important than your freedom? To constantly have to look over your shoulder?! No. I won’t allow it. It’s not happening Bucky!”

He tried to pull you back into his arms and you pushed him away.

“No, James! You just got your life back. You can’t just-”

Your tirade was cut off by the door opening. You were going to rip the person a new one for interrupting, but you saw it was T’Challa.

“Please forgive my interruption.”

“It’s quite alright, your majesty.”

“I am sorry to say but Agent Ross will be here by morning to escort you to the United States.”

“May I ask, how did he find out I was here? No one but Steve knew Bucky had been here.”

T’Challa sighed. “With the opening of the borders means more transparency with the United Nations. We could not hide a war criminal of your caliber. I am sorry we could not offer you more.”

And with that, he left you and Bucky to wonder how you would spend the next twelve hours.


	12. End of the Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing is every easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! My father had heart surgery (he's fine, it all went well). I also started up my Instagram/Facebook food channel again since Covid has thwarted my ability to start my restaurant.
> 
> I am going to try to be more frequent with my updates.
> 
> Also, this note will appear on all my next WIP updates if you read more than one.

You laid very still on the table as machines whirled around you, Shuri nearby tapping and swiping away on a piece of glass filled with projections. None of it made any sense to you, but you knew basically she was trying to see if Hydra had done any brainwashing on you or other enhancements. But so far, nothing unusual was popping up.

Steve and Bucky were on one wall while Tony and T’Challa were over at a lab table silently discussing Agent Ross’ arrival. You knew he was scheduled that day, just not the when. In the meantime, everyone was working to see if you could escape the Secretary of State’s wrath.

“I’ll admit, I’m glad you didn’t try to hide her T’Challa.” A new voice entered the room. “Though Secretary Ross will be surprised. He was banking on it after what happened to Sergeant Barnes.”

“That was before you got involved, Agent Ross,” Shuri quipped. “And he was badly in need of deprogramming. The same cannot be said for Miss Rogers here.”

Agent Ross stepped into your field of vision. “So what are you doing to her? Turning her into the Bionic Woman?”

“The what?” Came a unison response from Bucky, Steve, and Shuri.

“Kids,” Tony sighed. “Way to make us feel old, Agent Ross. Though I guess in the case of the Super Soldier Twins, it’s more lack of pop culture education.”

“And _she_ is right here and can hear you,” came your sass. “Shuri’s trying to see if Hydra slipped something in my drink.”

“What?”

“I’m looking for anything Hydra might have added on her like they did Sergeant Barnes. But so far everything is looking clean.” Shuri tapped on the screen a few more times before closing the program. 

You sat up and looked over at your brother and you…. Boyfriend? It was unclear what you and Bucky were after all this time. Sure, you two never broke up, but both of you had been declared dead one after the other. Then again, there was that night in Romania. And he hadn’t left your side since coming to Wakanda. If you managed to get out of this skinning alive, there could be actual hope for you and Bucky. 

“So what’s the word? Am I going to a cell first or is Secretary Ross just taking me straight to the gallows?”

It took Agent Ross a moment to realize you were speaking to him. He cleared his throat, “we’ll leave on the jet first thing in the morning for the states. There is a UN building there where you will stand trial. In the meantime, you will be kept at the CIA building in DC.”

“Great, can’t wait,” you rolled your eyes. “I would say I’m off to pack my things but I didn’t exactly bring anything.”

You left the room in a huff and Tony followed after. “Wait up, ____”

“What? No sarcastic nickname?” You turned to look at him but still continued down the hall.

“Not when I’m serious.” He easily caught up to you. “I know you’re having some regrets. And before you cut me off saying I don’t understand, let me finish. I’ve had my fair share of regrets. I could write a book about them. But your brother’s had a few, too. His biggest was not finding a quieter way to bring you in so this could be a more private family discussion.”

“And I fucked it up,” you sighed. “I don’t regret saving Bucky’s life. Even after all this time, I love him and my pigheaded brother. I just wish I had been smart about the whole situation.”

Tony slowly approached you. “You still have a few hours left. Make a change. Do the right thing.”

You chuckled at that. “There are not enough hours left to make a difference. But I tell you what. I know of a place to grab a drink. Let’s share regrets and maybe we’ll come up with a way to redeem my ass.”

“Sounds good, Kiddo.”

And that’s how you found yourself in your room with Tony and a couple of different bottles of liquor. As you shared regrets, you were joined by Steve and Bucky, who silently grabbed drinks. Steve took the chair by Tony and Bucky walked over to you on the love seat. You smiled up at him.

“Hey, soldier. Care to share my seat?”

“Thought you’d never ask, Doll.” He plopped down next to you and you clinked glasses. “What were you two discussing without us?”

“Regrets,” Tony set his glass down. “You know: what ones do we have, which ones aren’t, the usual philosophical drinking questions.”

Steve nodded his head. “No wonder you two are hitting the hard stuff.”

“Not so much. This is my second glass. But if I tried to keep up with Bun Bun over there, I’d probably die of alcohol poisoning.”

“Not my fault the serum makes it hard to get drunk.” You grabbed the bottle off the coffee table and poured yourself a little more. “So what about you two. I’m not talking about when we were younger. I can probably guess those regrets. Tell me about the ones I don’t know.”

Bucky and Steve grew quiet before Steve spoke up. “I know a big one I have is tied to one Bucky has. Even if the reason for his regret isn’t his fault.”

Tony finished his drink and set his glass on the table. “And that’s my cue to leave.”

“Wait, what?” Your eyes followed Tony to the door. “Just like that?”

“If they’re about to talk about what I think they’re going to talk about, I need to leave. All may be forgiven, but it’s still a sore subject for me at times.”

After the door closed, you turned to your boys. “Ok, how badly did you two fuck up this time?”

There was an uncomfortable silence before Steve shifted in his chair. “Well, it was mostly my fuck up. Bucky’s part wasn’t his fault as he was under Hydra’s control at the time.”

You had raised your cup to your lips, only to stop when you realized how serious he was. So you set it on the table and settled back in your spot. “Oh lord, what happened?”

Bucky had a hard time looking you in the eyes. “I killed Tony’s parents back in 1991. I was tasked to get the super-soldier serum Howard was transporting and leave no survivors. Maria happened to be with him.”

Steve cut in. “When Bucky and I crossed paths for the first time in seventy years, that’s when I discovered what Hydra did. I didn’t know it had been Bucky at the time, but after learning he was responsible for at least fifty assassinations over the decades, I put two and two together.”

“And you never told Stark,” you finished for him.

“No. And he found out in the worst way,” Bucky took over again. The two began to slowly recount the events that lead to Tony discovering the truth and how it lead to the team being separated when Thanos arrived.

“Oh, you boys are a special level of stupid sometimes.” You let out a deep breath and got up from your seat. “It really never occurred to you to try to talk to Stark when you found out? That he would discover the truth no matter what?”

“Well, in my defense-”

“Save it, Stevie. You can’t excuse that any more than I can excuse why I joined Hydra. Yes, we had our reasons, but we also need to accept our consequences once caught.”

Both boys raised their eyebrows at you.

You rolled your eyes. “The first time didn’t count. Hydra had questions to answer. But now my options are a cage or constantly hiding on a new level.”

The boys watched you grab a new bottle and filled all three glasses. Bucky took his but just ended up setting it aside. “So that’s it? No more fighting?”

“That’s right, Barnes. This is the end of the line for me. No one could possibly make a case well enough for the Secretary of State to just accept me. We can’t hide my past and sneak me in as they did for Widow.”

He angrily stood up and got in your space. “No! I refuse to give you up now that I have you back! We will figure this out!”

“Bucky’s right,” Steve calmly got up to join you. “And we’re not going to give up trying to save you. You couldn’t control us leaving, but we can control this.”

“Steve, you’re talking out of your ass. There is no way to control this. Period. Ross will make sure I will hang for my crimes. Maybe even literally. I will always love you boys, but you need to let me go.”

“Like the way you let us go?”

You shoved Steve away. “This isn’t the same thing! You boys ran off without me! Especially you, Stevie! I begged you to stay at home with me and you couldn’t even do that. Now you want to have a nice normal family? Look at us! Normally sailed away a long time ago.”

“That’s the point,” Bucky quietly interjected. “We’re not the same and we’re not normal. So there’s no reason to handle this the way you think we should.”

“What are you talking about, Barnes?”

“Let’s run away. Tonight. Right now.”

“Bucky-”

Steve grabbed your shoulders. “He means the three of us. Right now before Agent Ross even suspects anything.”

“You can’t just put your life on hold, Steve.”

“I wouldn’t be. My girlfriend would come, too.”

“Girlfriend?!” You did a double-take. “Who-”

“That doesn’t matter,” Bucky interrupted. “What matters is your answer. Will you come with us?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That being said, I feel I've painted myself in a corner 😭
> 
> I know I want a happy ending, but I'm having a hard time getting there since I make my works too realistic 🤣


	13. Redemption -  A Pipe Dream?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader may have an ace up her sleeve. But will it be enough?

You laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Bucky’s rhythmic breathing was calming, but you couldn’t sleep. Too much on your mind.

After the boys had begged you to run away with them, you gave yourself exactly five minutes to think about it before you talked them both down.

“Let’s not get crazy, ok? Give me time to think about it. We’re not supposed to leave until eight in the morning. Let me mull it over and I promise I will come to you before then. Well, I’ll come to you, Stevie. Bucky, I think we have a lot we need to discuss.”

Steve nodded his head and left to his room. But instead of starting a conversation, you walked after your brother.

Bucky watched you lock the door, walk back to pour two glasses, and down your glass before filling it again. You then set it down and crossed over to him.

“You wanted to talk, Doll?”

“No. We shouldn’t waste the time.”

And before he could question you, your lips were already pressed to his and your hands were grabbing for him. One in his hair and one around his neck. He didn’t hesitate to match your energy. 

And now you were both in bed; only Bucky was able to fall asleep. It seemed like he always had that gift, even after all this time. Or did he? Looking over, you wondered if he had nightmares, too. He didn’t that night in Romania and he seemed ok now. Maybe being with you kept them at bay. Which is why you had to do what was needed to keep you both together.

The bedside clock read four in the morning, but it didn’t matter. It was time to handle your problems. The correct way. Well, your way.

Silently - in the way only a few were taught - you climbed out of the bed, got dressed, and left the room. You knew who you were looking for, you just didn’t know which room.

“Trying to sneak away.”

You turned to see Agent Ross standing in the doorway of a room. “Actually, I was looking for you. This is hella convenient.”

He raised an eyebrow at you. “Am I supposed to believe that?”

You rolled your eyes. “I just got my boys back. If I was trying to escape, don’t you think I’d be trying to take those two idiots with me? We need to talk before you hand me over to the wannabe emperor of the world.”

“About what?”

“Information you desperately need from me. So why don’t we go back into your room and talk about a trade.”

“There won’t be a trade. You’ll give us the information regardless.”

You couldn’t help but belly-laugh at how serious Agent Ross was. “Oh, that’s adorable that you think I will. You forget who trained me. No, my dear child, I won’t give you anything you want. Not without anything in return. I may have been frozen for most of my life, but don’t mistake me for being naive.”

“We have ways of making you talk.”

“Thank you cliche-Bond-villain. And you are more than welcome to try, but I guarantee I will make you regret every minute and every ounce of energy you would be wasting. And let’s cut it down to the base points: how happy would all of your bosses be if you could just hand them over the information?”

“How will we know it’s even accurate?”

You gestured towards his door. “We really shouldn’t have this conversation out in the open.”

He nodded in agreement and stepped aside so you could enter his room.

* * *

Bucky rolled over in bed, reaching for you. But when he found the bed empty, he instantly sat up.

“Oh, fuck!” He grabbed his pants and shirt from the floor and hastily put them on before running out the door. “Steve! Steve, get your ass out here!”

A door opened and Steve popped his head out, already dressed. “What’s up, Buck?”

“Bunny’s gone!”

“What?!” He threw his door open the rest of the way and came out into the hall.

Tony strolled up to the two super-soldiers. “You boys are always late to the party. Follow me.”

“Stark, we don’t have time for this! Bunny is gone!”

“No, Robocop. She’s with Ross. Let’s go.”

Steve and Bucky looked at each other and then turned to follow. Around the corner, Agent Ross and King T’Challa were standing with you, talking casually despite you having your hands cuffed behind your back. 

You smiled at your boys. “There you are! Figured you two would oversleep.”

Steve’s jaw dropped as Bucky stumbled for words. “You’re… you’re still here?”

“Of course. I just got you both back. You think I was gonna just run off without you boys?” You winked at them. “Better go back. I know Agent Ross here doesn’t want to be late and we’re using the Quinjet.”

Soon, all five of you were on the jet with Tony in the pilot’s seat. You were sitting as best you could given your cuffs. Steve frowned.

“Is that really necessary?”

“Don’t worry, dear Stevie. This won’t be a permanent state for me. Just a condition to the terms Ross and I laid out.”

“What terms?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”

“I don’t like this, Bunny,” Bucky sighed.

Your eyes softened. “You need to trust me. I would never run willing into the lion’s jaws without an escape plan.”

But they refused to relax. Especially since you refused to explain your plan. The entire flight was filled with so much tension. And DC wasn’t any better. Your group barely left the plan before you were confronted by Secretary Ross standing there with a couple of soldiers.

“Well, Ms. Rogers. It turns out that the information you granted us proved fruitful.”

“Good. I’m ready to remove these cuffs when you are, then.”

He smirked down at you as if he had the sneaky upper hand. “Did you really think we would release you? We would have gotten this information from you one way or another.”

“Hold on!” Steve jumped in front of you. “____ did a deal to release information and you’re not going to hold on to your end of the bargain?”

Bucky turned towards you. “And you believed he would honor it?”

You smiled. A smile that could only be described as the bird that ate the canary. “Oh, never my love. I wasn’t born yesterday. Secretary Ross, if I were you, I’d check on your team.”

His face turned to stone and he whirled on the nearest soldier. “Get an update!”

After a few minutes, the soldier returned and whispered in Secretary Ross’s ear. You silently counted to yourself.

You never made it to five.

“WHERE IS THE HEAD OF HYDRA, MS. ROGERS?!”

You sighed, rotated your neck to stretch it a bit, and then smiled up at the Secretary of State with a smile that could kill. 

“Get your lawyers. Get some paper. Get some witnesses. Get a notary. Then - and only then - will I give you the rest of the information. If you refuse, you will waste literally years trying to get the information from me. And by then it will be too late. This raid will get to the head by tonight. Will you beat him to the punch, Secretary Ross?”

“Holy shit,” Bucky whispered in amazement.

“If I didn’t know any better, I would almost swear she was my kid with that level of sass and smarts,” Tony smirked. 

Secretary Ross’s face shot through a range of colors before finally settling on a tomato red to match his rage.

“Well? We’re waiting.” You winked.


	14. Memory Lane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bunny's bet pays off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween! Tomorrow begins NaNoWriMo so I wanted to get the last chapter for this piece out of the way so you won't have to wait any longer! 
> 
> My requests are still closed, but I'm hoping to change that after Jan 1st. (originally had Nov 1st, and that was drunk me talking, lol!)
> 
> Enjoy!

“ _The latest head of Hydra was apprehended today by the Avengers thanks in part to a very unlikely source - a former Winter Soldier. Resources have yet to comment on this latest development and what it could mean for the future of the Avengers. But two questions are on the world’s mind: who are they and will they be an Avenger now like the previous soldier?_ ”

The new cast then moved on to more about where the Hydra leader was being taken to await their trial. You were leaning back in your chair, feet up on the table in front of you, not really paying much attention to everyone around you. Steve pulled out a chair next to you and plopped down, that dopey smile on his face the same as when you were kids.

“Well, Bunny, you managed to pull it off.”

“Barely by the skin of my ass, Stevie. If that information hadn’t been kept at the Italian compound, I would be seriously boned. That, and the idiot staying put and being predictable like all Hydra leaders.”

Bucky slid in on the other side. “You’ve picked up the modern slang better than your brother, that’s for damn sure.”

“Unlike SHIELD, Hydra didn’t treat me with kid gloves. I either figured out what they were saying or stay confused. Though, in all honesty, half the time I don’t know if I’m using the slang correctly.”

“Don’t worry. Parker will help you.” Bucky rolled his eyes. “Can never get away from the constant pop references.”

Before you could say more, Secretary Ross came into the room with Nick Fury and Stark. Tony made a gesture with his hands and you rolled your eyes but lowered your feet anyway.

Ross stood on the other side of the table from you and looked down on you with contempt. “Well, Miss Rogers. It appears that your gamble paid off. The President has agreed to your pardon and the UN will overlook things on their end.”

“I know you’re pissed off, Ross. I would be too. But you can rest assured that I am officially retired. I won’t even taint your precious Avengers.”

“Then what will you be doing, young lady. Someone as dangerous as you can’t just wander around where she pleases.”

“Does that mean-” Steve instantly slammed his hand over your mouth, knowing full well some smartass remark about the US government was about to rear its ugly head.

“Don’t worry, Secretary Ross. The Avengers will still take her in and help find her a new path. Since Sam is taking over my title, I will be personally responsible for my sister.”

Secretary Ross frowned. “Forgive me if that doesn’t instantly fill me with hope, Captain Rogers. Fury, keep me informed.”

“Yes, sir.” Then waited a beat after Ross left the room. “Jackass.”

You snorted and Steve pulled his hand away so you could laugh easier. “Well, isn’t he a gem? And what’s with you? Since when do you sensor?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “You said it yourself. Pardoned barely by the skin on your ass. Did you really want to push your luck?”

“Point taken.” You rubbed your eyes. “So what is the plan for me?”

Bucky took your hand. “Are you sure you don’t want to be an Avenger?”

You squeezed his hand. “Not right now. So much has happened since I ran into you boys. Let everything cool off and we can go from there.”

“That’s a very mature response, Bunny.”

“Don’t push me, Stevie,” you smiled at your brother. Then you grew serious. “But we should probably get out of here. Being around all these CIA agents is making me nervous.”

“Guilty of something, Furiosa?” Stark cracked. 

“Ha ha. Just force of habit, Metal Head.”

“Bunny’s right. Now that she’s free, let’s get the hell out of here.”

“Lead the way, Barnes.” Tony gestured towards the door.

A relatively short flight later, and you were on the landing pad in front of the Avengers’ Compound, which was far larger than you anticipated. Inside was oddly quiet and empty. You looked over at your boys.

“Ok, I’ll bite. Where is everyone?”

“We thought it would be best to give you a little space right now. Most of the Avengers are their rooms or the gym, Parker is back at school, and the SHIELD agents that work here are in other parts of the compound.” Tony motioned to Steve and Bucky. “Figured these two could handle giving you a tour without the extra heads poking around.”

“Thanks. I’ll let you know if the job’s too big for these two.”

“Hey!” Bucky and Stever protested at the same time.

Tony winked at you guys before leaving the room. You sighed. “Ok, where to first?”

“Why don’t we head to your new room, first, so you can drop your bag off.”

“Good idea, Stevie. Lead the way.”

The room was basically what you expected: typical size with a bathroom attached, good size bed, desk with a chair, small wall-mounted tv, and a modest closet. Definitely nicer than what you had with Hydra, but nothing ot make your head big.

“So is this the ‘Girls’ Wing’ or something?”

“No, it’s all co-ed,” Bucky laughed. “Steve and I have our rooms across the hall from you, actually.”

“We didn’t want to rush and assume anything with what type of living quarters you wanted until you and Bucky had sorted things out.”

“That’s a very mature response, Stevie.” You mocked.

“Ha.” Was your brother’s reply.

The tour informed you a great deal: it wasn’t SHIELD giving you space. It was them taking it. Any time you heard other footsteps, they automatically turned and went the other direction. The boys were clearly trying to ignore it, but you could stay silent for so long.

“They don’t want me here, do they?”

Bucky took your hands in his. “No. I won’t sugar coat it. We’ve lead lives that won’t let us. But it was like this at first for me as well. It will just take time for them to trust you.”

“What about the Avengers?”

“They’re holding off opinions until you meet Wanda.”

“The mindreader?”

Bucky nodded.

“Then let’s go meet her now.”

“What?” Both boys looked at you like you grew a second head.

“Let me meet her. We need to air this out now. I can’t walk on eggshells while I’m here. Not after everything else I went through.”

Steve sighed. “Ok. I’ll ask her if she’s open to doing this now.”

You and Bucky waited in the common room while Steve went to find Wanda. Bucky never stopped holding your hand and you grabbed his other and began to study it.

“This looks better than I thought anything Hydra could give you.”

“That’s because it was built by Wakanda. Long story short: Tony shot off the one Hydra gave me.”

“Um, wow. Clearly, there’s a lot we need to catch up on. But I think the biggest thing we will need to talk about is us.”

Bucky nodded his head. “I remember - back when we were young - that once I made officer, I was going to marry you and buy us a little place for us to live. It would even have room for Steve if he needed it.”

You smiled at the memory. “We had planned on a few kids and Stevie was going to spoil them rotten.”

Bucky pulled you close and you rested your head on his chest. “Do you think we can still have that?”

You were quiet as you thought, going over the last seventy-plus years in your head. How much you and Bucky had changed since then. 

“I think we can. It- it just may take us a little longer to get there. Everyone needs to get used to the idea of me being here. We need to find our rhythm again. Steve and I need to rebuild our relationship as well. Then there’s me: I need to remember how to function like a normal human again.”

“Were you ever?” Came Steve’s sass.

You and Bucky parted to see Steve standing there with Wanda.

“Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black, Mr. I-Need-To-Forge-My-Way-Into-The-Military.”

“Hey, that was the old me!”

You rolled your eyes. “I know enough about what happened after you woke up to know that’s a lie.”

“Hey!”

You and Bucky laughed before Wanda cleared her throat.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but Steve said you wanted to talk to me.”

“Yeah. He says the team won’t fully accept me until we do, so I figured we should get this over with now.”

She smiled. “That won’t be necessary. I, uh, I read your mind while you were talking to Bucky. Everything you said was authentic. You may be...well, scared’s not the word I’d use. Apprehensive? But you’re willing to give this a try.”

“I feel like I should be offended that you did that before I could say anything, but honestly you just saved me time.”

Wanda blushed. “Sorry. Normally I would ask first, but Steve made it sound really urgent.”

“No harm, no foul.”

Wanda left the room and Steve turned to follow.

“Wait, I need to know something, Stevie. Were you two idiots really going to go on the run with me?”

Steve smiled down at you. “Of course. We love you. I admit that wasn’t the option I wanted, but if it’s what you needed I would have done it for you. We all show solidarity in different ways.”

You pulled him in for a hug. “Thank you, Stevie.”

He tightly hugged back. “Any time, Bunny.”

Once he left, you turned back to Bucky. “So what now?”

Bucky took on your hands in his metal one. “Now, we let you get used to your new life. And when you’re ready, I want to take you out on the town. I want to rebuild what we had. I want a new future with you.”

You pulled him close. “How about we start tonight? We can make dinner here and stay up all night talking. Just like we used to.”

“Maybe dance like we used to?”

You smirked. “Among other things. If we’re ready.”

“If we’re ready.” Bucky leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. “And doll, I’m ready for everything. As long as it’s with you.”

“Lead the way, soldier.”


End file.
